Shoulder surgery journey

 Even after my PT experience, the shoulder got more inflamed and was hurting again and had to get help. I got a referral to an orthopedic specialist. Dr. Zacharias is a very patient and kind doctor that will answer your questions. He did send me to an MRI to find out what is going on with my shoulder.  On my second consult, after going over the results of the MRI, I found out that I had a tear in my shoulder. He tried moving my arm and it was painful. We decided on surgery to fix the issue with the promise that I would start PT ASAP.  I had to get the clearance from my primary to get the surgery-medically and get a blood test. The day of the surgery was a little scary but the staff was nice at the hospital. After the surgery, I had to learn to let my husband help me. That was a humbling experience for me because I am very independent. This experience has taught me to accept that I can't do certain things due to the healing of the shoulder and let it heal. I am thankful for the things that I can do. However the things that I can't I have to ask Terry for help. Also I am back at Ortho Care getting PT therapy for my shoulder. Yes there are some days it hurts but I need to do as they ask and let them do the stretching it will help later down the road and do the PT HW at home.

It has definately taught me to let others help me- church people bringing meals, my friend giving me rides or Terry helping me with stuff because they want to see me recover.

The Similarities and Differences of PT and Therapy

The Jail Cell and Jailer

 The Jail Cell can be any addiction or an eating disorder. 

It is a spot where we are locked in these thoughts and actions that keep feeding the beast/addiction.  

My jailer was an eating disorder not once but twice.  It was a little harder on the second time because I was touching some deep bottoms of the abyss. 

My key was found in two things: My willingness to give it to God and also a great therapist who never backed down from the fight with me and encouraged me when I needed it or lit a fire under neath me when I desperately needed it to get my attention.  Although my ED brain may have had a hard time grasping, my logical side kicked in and started fighting against the beast-deceiver-satan. It was a long fight but I feel like my brokeness like that pottery  came out stronger with God's help and giving me a great therapist. 

Yes I am out of my jail cell, Jesus is the key holder and he sent Miriam to give me that key out.  I am grateful for that!

Change of Churches

 Sometimes we have to change churches when the church that we were going to no longer fits our needs  spiritually or is no longer a place that you can comfortably worship in.  

We chose to move from Vision to Faith Baptist church at the end of August. There were a few reasons that factored in: Not being appreciated/taken for granted, we weren't spiritually fed, we no longer felt loved at Vision, just felt like we were frozen out.  There was no love at Vision just coldness! 

Here at Faith: There is warmness and love! The pastor is great there and very dependable and he thanks us for being faithful even though we aren't members yet. 

There is more of a closeness at this church where people come up to you and introduce themselves. This is the place for us!

Saying goodbye to a Dear friend

 Today I said goodbye to a dear friend from Meijer! She will be missed by her family and friends. 

I am glad to be a part of her life for as long as I have and the pleasure of knowing Melba Faye Ohmer. 

She always had something funny or sarcastic to say to me. Her famous was calling me brat all the time! 

However, she has been a great sense of encouragement and love for me too! 

Melba was never afraid to give  you a hug and say I love you! She was the person that you wanted to be! 

Good bye dear friend, till I see you again in Heaven!

Everyone Has a Seat at the Table

Here is what I wrote for NEDA's Awareness Week:

Could be TW?

Everyone Has a Seat At The Table

This year, NEDA’s theme is Everyone Has a seat at the table. I do like this theme because it includes people from different ethnicities and various eating disorder diagnoses, and no one is excluded but included in the celebration of eating and gathering around the table.

I remember when I didn’t want to come to the table to eat. I made excuses like: “ I ate already, I am not hungry,” even though I was hungry after restricting for most of the day. The truth was the Eating Disorder was running the program and telling me to exercise more and eat way less. The truth was, I was getting tired of this regimen that the ED was putting me through. My therapist, Miriam gave me a good wake up call, “ You need to stop this or I will have to hospitalize you.” “ I don’t want to do this sweetie but will if I have to.” She knew it was the wake up call I needed but did it out of love.

Slowly I recovered and now I am strong enough to have meals with family and friends at the table. I don’t concern myself with exercising after or about the calories that I have eaten. I concentrate on the fellowship and fun.

There is another table I like to go to is the church dinners or breakfasts and have fellowship. One important is the Lord’s Table for communion at church. I trusted God to help me through the Eating disorder and he helped me recover with the help of my husband and my therapist, Miriam. I am glad that I can thank him and praise him for that!

Tuesday's With Morrie

 I watched Tuesday's With Morrie. The main character, Mitch Albom finds out that his old sociology professor has ALS and starts going to see him on Tuesday's. It is very inspiring what Morrie still teaches him.

    I think we all need people like Morrie to teach us things. I think my mentor is Miriam. Even though we don't have our monthly sessions, she taught me a lot and lets me let  down my guard.  I refer to her as my personal advsior. 

She is a gift that I didn't know I had till, I couldn't see her back in 2003, but welcomed me back with open arms in 2005. I know I can still text her when I need when I need to run something by her, but I don't like to abuse that because I know she has a life outside of that. I am just grateful for the times that she does answer me when she can.