Dear Ana!

This is from a friend of mine Natalya Raymon who wrote this awesome poem!

Dear Ana Why do you make me feel bad Each calorie I count Each piece of food I look at it Each meal I eat you hurt me You make me sick You say I'll reach that goal if your there You say I will look better My confidence is negative You take advantage of me You say you won't leave me You tell me to be in control Why can't you leave But at the same time I want you here I don't want you to leave I want you stay I need you to stay I want you to whisper the sweet venom in my ear I want you to stay by my side I want that goal So please don't leave me

Different thoughts

I am heading into the final stretch of my Stress Management class! This class was most enjoyable! I am learning and applying what I have gleaned from the class!
I had an awesome birthday! My friend Susan Raymon made sure I felt special! I  can't thank her enough! Also I had a great time at the hotel and at Olive Garden with my best friend! Another friend David Francis made me feel special too!


The best gift I got was my recovery voice!

Nasty Anorexic Sweatshirt from UK

There is a disgusting Sweatshirt that is Selling on Amazon UK. Some merchant thinks it is okay to make light of eating disorders. It isn't right glamorize it either!
Here is my response

Pro-Anorexia Sweatshirt

This sweatshirt shows horrible disregard to those that suffer from Anorexia and other eating disorders. I hope Amazon knows that Eating disorders are the number one killer in mental health. This is nothing to joke about or make light of.

I suffer from anorexia and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! Amazon needs to rethink this item, because it shows that eating disorders are cool or glamorous.  I think Amazon could do better by selling items that shows body-positivity instead of selling this awful item!

Closer to midterm

As I get closer to midterm, I feel the need to do exceptionally well! I want to set a high standard for myself.

My husband said, "don't set it too high because if you don't get it, you will get down on yourself.
Also want to do well in the journal assignments.
Basically, I want to do awesome in this class.
I feel this perfection monster rearing its head at me. Nothing less than a 100%.
I know this is unhealthy thinking, however it is hard to shake myself from it.
I would like to go for imperfectly perfect.


It will be almost a week before I see Miriam, I know I will need to discuss this issue with her, before I start doing idiotic stuff.

Back To School Coping Strategies

Back to School Coping Strategies

         Going back to school is filled with normal anxieties for kids and young adults ready to start a new chapter in their lives at a four-year university.  These concerns double for people with eating disorders because now they are faced with changes in either their mealtime routines, or times that they would go see their treatment team. Students with eating disorders may try hard to get the perfect grades and put extra pressures on themselves to bring on some unwanted eating disordered behaviors.

         Here are some coping strategies before you head back to school.

Ø Check with your treatment team to see you are indeed ready for either college life and what classes would be good or dangerous for you to take.   Obviously a class in either nutrition where they do calorie counts or weight management would not be good for anorexics.   If you are heading back to high school, let your treatment team see your schedule and advise of any potential trigger or high stress class schedules that could interfere with your treatment schedule and mealtime.

Ø Have a plan in place with your treatment team an who to call or text when it gets stressful like exams and more homework than usual.

Ø Try and keep a routine with your meal times and bring snacks if need be to your classes. (Talk to guidance counselor at high school or a social worker to be advocate for you with your teachers in the incoming school year to allow you break time to eat your snacks.

Ø Have a hobby that you like to do as an outlet so you don’t resort to ED behaviors.

Ø Exercise-only if your treatment team allows it. It is a good stress reliever.

Ø Hang out with friends and body-positive people that embrace you and your recovery.

Ø Pets are good companions to have, however may not be allowed on college campuses. Check with the housing authority before adopting a pet.  

Ø Make sure your college has a counseling or mental health center that you can go to when things get too stressful. If you are in high school, talk to a social worker there or a trusted counselor.

Ø Have your therapist’s number on your phone to call or text during the real stressful times like exams, that is when it is tempting to fall back into behaviors.

I know for me, when I have college classes, I tend to try to have perfect grades and when I don’t I take it out on myself.  I am now trying to enjoy the class and learn what I am supposed to learn. If I did select something that my therapist didn’t think was a good idea, she would tell me to drop it only because she thought it could be a temptation for me to engage in behaviors. 

         Make this school year learning and enjoyable one and don’t be afraid to reach out to your treatment team when you feel yourself wanting to slip into behaviors, they are there to help you not judge you!

Prevent Slut Shaming

Five Ways to Stand Up to Slut Shaming on Social Media

I have read the article on Twitter that a woman is called a “whore or a slut every ten seconds! I don’t know about you but I find this very disheartening when it is girls or other women doing this to other women.

         In the UK there were over nine thousand abusive tweets a day with the reference of whore or slut in them. Method 52 picks up these abusive tweets and flags them as abusive and escalating them to the moderators. This is good so that the readers of the tweets don’t have to worry about flagging them as abusive.  I think we need to stand up to slut shaming and say this will not be tolerated.  Here ways we can standup to this online bullying

Ø If we don’t have an automated flagging method on our Twitter let’s adopt it.

Ø Let’s flag abusive posts on Facebook too.

Ø Have friends in a group chat call out someone that is slut shaming and tell him or her that this won’t be tolerated.

Ø Have friends of the person being shamed on Twitter send out positive tweets to build that person back up.

Ø Have a feature on Instagram that picks up abusive posts and sends them to the administrators.

I have a Twitter account however I try and be encouraging in my tweets.  I think a safety mechanism should be put in place where women don’t have to see those harmful tweets. I also think that users that send these nasty tweets should get a warning and if it keeps on happening, their account should be suspended.

If I were to see an abusive post that was either meant for my friends or I.   I would flag it as abusive and send it to the administration group.  I would let my friend know and tell her not to pay attention to delete that post because it isn’t worth seeing. I would delete it the comment if it were aimed at me then delete the person and block them. 

In a group chat, if a person were calling a woman either a whore or a slut, there should be some group leader telling that person that this language isn’t allowed. If they still persist, report that person to administration. The group leader could message the ones that aren’t being nasty and also the target or targets and tell them that they will start a new conversation and delete this one, however the one that is doing the name calling will not be included in the new upcoming message. This way the one that is being nasty doesn’t follow into the next conversation.

If friends see “slut shaming to an individual, they should send positive comments to her on either Twitter or Facebook.  I think that more positive affirmations we can give someone, the better that they will feel about themselves. This will also show that we see that person as beautiful and it will cancel out the nastiness that someone tried to shame them with.

I hope Instagram has a safety feature where it blocks out these nasty posts so nobody has to deal with being called a “Whore or a slut.” I think that there should be way to freeze the shamer’s account for a period of time and an e-mail sent to them on why the account is froze.

My final thought is this; no one should be subject to slut shaming on social media sites.  These sites are to have fun and talk to your friends.  Slut shaming is harmful and another form of cyber bullying it should be stopped.   I would love to see the misogyny stopped.  We can do this if we stand together and show each other the love and respect each one of us deserves.

Empowerment Summer Hit list

Empowerment Summer Play List

A couple of years ago, I put together a CD of ED Busters when I want to feel empowered. Last year I found some more songs that would well on the CD and remade the CD with more songs.  These songs have meaning for me too.

Here are some of them:

Coming Out of the Dark-Gloria Estafan

Beautiful Life- Ace of Base

This Girl is of Fire- Alicia Keys

Strong Enough- Cher

Paradise- Cold Play

Sky Scraper- Demi Lavato

Shake it Out-Florence and The Machine

Things Can Only Get Better- Howard Jones

Pocketful of Sunshine- Natasha Bedingfield

The Good Life-One Republic

I want to Break Free- Queen

Beautiful Day-U2

Eye of the Tiger- Survivor

Unwritten-Natasha Beddingfield

The Warrior-Scandal

Promise of a New Day-Paula Abdul

Cry For You-September

I have also made copies for some people too that want to feel empowered. 

I listen to these hits not just during summer but when I have bad ED Days and I am tempted to use the eating disorder’s behaviors.  I listen to my play list and journal. It does help snap me out of my funk

So I invite people to a play list together that inspires them to keep on the recovery track because we are all worth it!