Life gives you lemons-make lemonade

With this Corona Virus shutting things down, I have to look at the positives:

Tv-with new antenna and more channels-free entertainment
I can still exercise even without the gym-yes I miss it but I have to be creative when I go on vacation so test run.
I have my kitties-they are good entertainment-kitty smackdowns or just wanting to cuddle with me.
More time with Terry-cuddling
Carry out option don't have to purchase soda, drink more water.
I also get my French lessons done quicker now.

These are a few a positives.  I am making lemonade at the lemons that this virus is throwing.

New way of life

This COVID-19 or Corona virus is really making people change their lives in various ways: Certain churches are closing their doors for a few weeks, restaurants with drive thru or carry out only, gyms, and library have closed.
Now we hear a term like social distancing so we don't catch whatever someone has.  We can't hug the person or shake hands with them, we have to stay with in 6 feet away from them.
Another sad thing is people are hoarding stuff and others can't get it because people buy too much and don't save any for the rest of humanity. I heard in one state there was a fist fight over paper towel. That is sad when it gets to that point.
My personal advisor will be having sessions via video chat during these times. I understand why she is doing this so she can be safe for her and husband. I will miss the hug at the end of the session.
I get why, and yet it feels so cold to do that. 
I just hope and pray that this will be a thing of the past like N1H1 and people can return to the routines they used to do before all this came about.


I know this won't last long just have to find other ways to do things and try and be positive and be there for each other! 

Shame trigger

I have been reading Brene's Brown Book I thought it was Just me but it isn't.
In this book she talks about " shame triggers and knowing our shame triggers."  She says it is best to reach out to other people so we won't feel alone in our shame and to be empathetic to others that way shame can't breed.

I will share two shame triggers
1. Body image- Me thinking I am very heavy and I need to lose weight especially when the visitor comes.
2. Also this perfection-keeping the house clean and trying to do all the right things.

Who else feels these triggers? What are your triggers?
She says if we can name them and talk about them, we won't feel so isolated and alone.

Internal Locus of Control

In class we were discussing about internal locus of control.  I believe I have the internal locus of control.
I did it in recovery when Miriam told me about possible hospitalization if I didn't stop what I was doing.
I took charge and thought of a plan to avoid the hospital and Dr. S due to crappy insurance. I acknowledged that I did mess up with ED and made a choice to fix it with Terry and Miriam's help. I did it.

As for this class, I feel that I have a drive to get ahead and get things done so I can time to study for midterm. 
I can do this by efficiently managing my time and studying and getting things done with the study guide.

I am will also follow up with the instructor as far as the due date for this presentation and paper. I want to be well-prepared to give an outstanding presentation and paper.
I know that I am capable of it because I feel I have a self-efficacy to get the job done!!!

New class coming up

I will have a new coming up on the 15th. I am a little nervous because I never had this instructor before. I keep having dreams of coming unprepared.  I think that the perfectionist side is coming out that I have to get an A in this class. I want to enjoy it and learn with out the pressure.

Saying no

I got to a point where if I don't want to do something, I just let ppl know. If they don't like it sorry but I am not going to do something I am not comfortable with. I told my stepmom after she wasn't hearing me that I wasn't going up north because we have a room and I want to stay away from fireworks. She wasn't hearing me. She got mad because I told her I didn't want to go up north or having anything to do with Mi. I am done pleasing ppl. I am not going to the 30th class reunion. Five years ago, I went and lost weight and ended up in the dog house with her. I don't want to do that again nor do I want to go due to cliqueness. It was way too loud last time. My friend wants me to go but I told him no. He keeps asking me in round about ways. I keep telling him no.
The point is, I am keeping my boundaries and saying no!

Father's Day

It has been 24 years since my dad died. I still miss him. This day still bites for me due to he died before we could celebrate with him.

I still remember taking him out to breakfast at either Sweeden House or Old Country Buffet!


I remember the good times with him and his humor.

I think what makes it hard is that the card company like Hallmark and the stores really emphasize getting stuff for your dad.
Hopefully one day it won't be an issue with me.