Attitudes

Our attitudes can help or hurt us. If we have a negative attitude then it becomes set in our minds on the way we think life should be and we can't fully embrace the good things because we see the glass half full.
Bad: I see this in my father inlaw, nothing made him happy and complained about things that people tried to do for him. Also now with him in a long term care facility, he has a whole list of illnesses. I believe this produced by a negative mindset coupled with a negative attitude. His mind sets forth a chain reaction of illness brought on by toxic negativity!
Good: I saw this in my mother inlaw when she was alive. She was positive and always so happy. She loved the little things that people did for her. I remember for one of her birthday celebrations, she clapped her hands, and said " someone remembered me!"  She was always so sweet even through her illness of Alzheimer's Disease. She always showed love to the residents and to her family. When she couldn't speak, she still leaned over and gave her family a kiss.
She was the example of being positive!

Pragmatic: I know there will be times to have a negative attitude when things don't right. A good example would be when the weather doesn't work out or the internet goes down.  The healthy mindset could be, how can I see good in this situation? How can make this still work. In other words making a negative into a positive.  There are times when Macomb's website crashes and I can't register. Instead of complaining why can't I register and not doing anything about it, I walk up there and register. I also get a walk and exercise out of the deal.  Another example was: Our wedding anniversary, we planned to go to the water park, but it didn't work out weather wise, so we walked the mall and had a dessert there and watched people. We can always reschedule water park or to be continued to a warmer day when we can both enjoy it!

Changing Cartoon Characters

Changing Body Types of Cartoon Ionics

I have heard that the group, Project Know, has decided to make a change in their cartoon characters by fattening them up to look like a more realistic body type. The reason for this change was that cartoons were fat-shaming kids by having characters in thin unattainable body types that no one can attain too. 

         I do believe this is a good step in body positivity!  There are kids that watch these cartoons and they need a body type that they can relate to.  This is will help kids see that they can like their bodies versus be ashamed of themselves because they can’t reach an unrealistic body image that the cartoons were presenting for a long time.  According to the article, teenage cartoons are stuck in yesteryear’s thinking that characters to look great meaning both genders of characters looked very thin and unrealistic.   The problem with these characters looking like this is that kids see this and strive to look like those cartoon characters even though they aren’t realistic.   It was refreshing to see that both genders got the fullness make over so it matches with the typical body type of both boys and girls.

         I do remember watch cartoons as a kid; I have never given any thought to what they looked like. I enjoyed the shows. If I did remember one character, She-ra from the Heman cartoons, she was made to look real thin and beautiful.  If I were a young girl looking at that that image, I would be thinking maybe I should look like that.   I know now that is an unattainable image to try for and no matter what I did to myself to get to look like that it would not happen. 

         Parents need to explain to their kids, that they may see some cartoon characters on television and in coloring and books with super heroes, these figures aren’t real and are imaginary people. The parents can have a dialogue with an older child around nine or ten and ask him or her what they think about the cartoon, and assure them that they look fine the way they are, and are loved too. I think parents should be good role models for body positivity. They could explain to their kids what their body does for them and how to take care of their body effectively.  Another thing parents could do is not body shame others that may be heavier or look different. If the parent does body shame, the parent should say to the child, “I was wrong to say that.”  Teach the children that though there are different body types out there, that person is beautiful.   If kids see adults treat their body as positive and treat others nice there would be way less body shaming!

Reflections

I am glad that my studying and hard work paid off. I got an A. Now the icing on the cake would be a 100 on the final exam or close to it.
As I move close to Father's day, I have lots of good memories of my dad. However there are a few that are not so good. I feel conflicted because I want to just remember him as a good dad.
I know he also gave me the incentive to do well in school. It was $50 for an A in a language but $75 for an A in psychology. Maybe that is where that drive comes from to excel. Even though I don't get paid anymore, I get rewarded in other ways, coffees a high five or maybe a new top.
I want to keep a healthy balance with this school stuff, however that side comes out where it is an A or nothing. I know I need to address that with Miriam.
Looking forward to doing that tape recorder exercise with her again.

Home Stretch

It is almost the end of the semester! Now I feel the need to pull out all the stops to make it a great exam! It is worth 200pts. Needless to say the pressure is on me maintain this A status.  What I don't want to do is give the eating disorder foothold to come in the doorway. I have to maintain a balance.

Also on the home front, been good to see my brother while he was here to assist the needs of my father in law. He is a great brother. I will miss him when he leaves but I know I can keep in touch with him while he is at home too.

AFRID

AFRID

         AFRID is known as Avoidant or restrictive food intake disorder, it was previously a known as a selective eating disorder (SED).  What this means is that there are certain foods are not eaten or limited due to: the way the food looks, smells, tastes, texture and even the brand presentation which could be have had a negative experience associated with it.

        

         I have had a bad experience with liver and chicken livers.  I couldn’t stand the smell or taste of them. I was told that if I didn’t eat what was put in front of me, that there would be no dessert.  Sometimes, dinner was so hard that I opted to skip the dessert. I thought that there were times that my biological mother would put there to eat, so I would be tempted not to eat dessert. Since she was always on me about my weight. Also there were no alternatives to dinner, or other choices to what was being served.

        

         I have grown up and moved out, I don’t serve liver or chicken livers for my husband and I.   I know I have choices what to eat and what to make.  Also my husband does not like liver either, so he will not want to eat this either. I also will have dinner choices that we can choose from. I am no longer afraid of what is for dinner because I know it isn’t liver nor will it ever be!!!

American Ninja Warrior Women

I watched the All Star Ninja Warrior women perform. I was happy to see that more women were picked to perform along the men. Even though they made mistakes, still good to see them taking chances.
Life is a chance. We either take risks or kick ourselves for not later on in life. Yes I made some risks that I shouldn't had but they were risks that I can say I did try.
As far as risks goes, I have done some risky things like: tandem skydiving in 2003, indoor skydiving 2011, tandem parasailing 2012, Skyjumping 2013, and rip cord 2015. I felt free during these and would love to do any of these again.
A risk I haven't taken is being vulnerable with Miriam. I know it will come in time, I can't rush the process.
Bottom line: It is good to take risks every once in awhile to explore life's possibilities.

Observation

I have noticed an observation: There are commercials dedicated to changing our appearances from weight loss to plastic surgery.
Message: We aren't good enough on how we look, we need to change our outward appearance.
However changing our outward appearance, may not change what is going on inside us. The hurt, the past rejections and not feeling good enough.
A lot of us use these messages to try and fix what we think is wrong with us, in the form of an eating disorder. Why? The eating disorder promises to change us and " make us better for society.

We need to know that we are enough! We don't need to change ourselves outwardly!
The change can come from within.
I am working with a great therapist that is helping me do that. It is a work it is a slow work in progress, but will not quit!