7 Ways to meet Body Positive

Seven Ways To Meet Body Positive Activists This Summer

It is summer now and you want to be with people that share the same body positivity that you have going. The question is where do you meet these body positive activists? Summer can be very challenging when we see signs to get our body ready for “bikini season.” This could make staying in recovery very tricky when society tells us “lose weight or look a certain way so we can be accepted on to the beach.” Here is a way to break the negativity find others that embrace that body positivity love that they have for themselves.

• Go on NEDA walks
• Yoga
• College campuses
• Malls
• Beach
• Amusement Parks
• Facebook

During the summer, the NEDA has numerous walks in various cities within the United States. These events link people that are in various stages of recovery with their eating disorders and others that have recovered. These people now are embracing what their bodies can do and meeting and encouraging others that they could love their bodies also.

Yoga could be a positive way to meet others that cherish their bodies, not what their body looks like but what the body can accomplish through stretches. I would advise to take a beginner yoga class to meet others that want to learn the stretches and be kind to their bodies at the same time.

At the college campuses, there could be some groups that embrace body positivity. Sometimes, during a summer session, the groups may not be active till fall. Another idea is, approach your classmates and if the feeling is mutual that there needs to be a group for body positivity, could send an e-mail to student activities director or ask your instructor about forming an alliance for body positivity at the college.

The mall may not be a place where people that embraced body positivity, but it is possible. There are community events that go on at the mall like the arts fair where kids show their artwork. There may be a list of activities that don’t include fashion or clothes shopping. A good place to start is to ask information on how to start an activity or get a table set up with body positivity affirmations. Another good idea is to team up with, people who do health screenings. I am thinking that people would come up to the table and ask questions about body-positivity and that is when one can spread the word about body positivity, and let them take some of the free stuff on the table.

The beach may scare people, thinking that they aren’t “beach body ready.” I saw a good ad that said, “Anyone that has a body, has a beach body.” If one does go to the beach, he or she should go with people that support them. This person should also set some ground rules, like no fat shaming anyone on the beach. This activity can be fun by building sand castles, sitting in the sun and enjoying the summer sun, but with sun protection. The chances are, if you are having fun and others see that, they will enjoy your energy and positivity too.

The amusement parks can be fun also. The idea is to go with some friends who support body positivity and have fun. Here is a good way to meet other people at the park, have you and your friends wear shirts that say something positive about their bodies. The thinking is that, while waiting in line for rides, is that people would get curious and ask about the shirts. This is a good teaching experience too, that either you or your friends could explain what you are doing and inspire others and share some love and friendliness also.

Here is another good place to meet some body positivity people, on Facebook. There are lots of groups that have a body sharing community facet to them. I know this isn’t the same as meeting someone face to face, but I think it is a good start. There could be a friendship that grows and later on meet some of these people when it is convenient.

I would like to say in closing, I have given suggestions on how to meet people that are body-positivity activists. We all could be activists in the body positivity awareness. We need to show love to others and quit fat-shaming others and embrace each other’s qualities and to point out what our bodies have done for us and carried us this far in our lives and continue to function so we can enjoy our lives as perfectly imperfect human beings!

The Dangers of being over confident

The Dangers of Being Over-Confident & Not Dealing With Feelings During Recovery

I understand the dangers of being over-confident in recovery. During late 2003, I became over-confident to the point of thinking I was over the eating disorder.

I was eating what I was supposed to and “had no guilt.” I thought that is what I was supposed to achieve in recovery.

What I overlooked were the thoughts and feelings that brought me to the eating disorder in the first place. I only had my main focus on the food issue and I thought that was the only thing to conquer, wrong! Eating and not feeling guilty were only a part of recovery, there were more aspects of recovery but I blindly pushed through recovery very fast and didn’t see the other parts till years later.

During this time, I became complacent in recovery, and letting my guard down for the enemy to reappear. I know there were thoughts and feelings that kept coming up; I think I tried to bury it in the background or not dealing with the feelings head on. I also hid my feelings from my therapist and pretending things were fine when they weren’t.

During this time also, I had a nasty car accident that ended me in the hospital. I put my energies into healing from the accident and pushed the eating disorder recovery on the back burner.

When I rejoined my therapist Miriam in ’05, after getting my insurance back, I wanted to face those feelings that have brought me to the eating disorder. Even then, I was still hesitant to face some of the feelings, due to my fear of emotion in front of Miriam. I hate to admit this but my pride may have kept me from showing vulnerability in front of my therapist.

It is scary for me to say that maintaining my recovery wasn’t huge on my list. Again, I thought I had already recovered and didn’t think that I still had to continuously maintain recovery. I believe this over-confidence has caused me to relapse and fall harder with the eating disorder because I didn’t watch for the hidden dangers that led me to the eating disorder. It is like going in a new city and not taking a map or asking for directions, the result is you will get lost or in a place that you don’t want to be.

Right before, the eating disorder resurfaced, I made a huge mistake, I thought I could diet and things would be okay. I found out again that the diet turned into the eating disorder and having me not like food again. However this time, instead of sticking my head in the sand, I told my therapist so I could work on facing my demons once and for all.

Looking back, I made lots of mistakes in recovery, due to being over-confident and not facing my fears and feelings with her. I am beginning to understand that recovery isn’t a one-time deal, it maybe a lifetime of learning new things about myself.

I know I can’t undo these mistakes and go back, what done is done. All I can do is move on and learn from them and grow from it. I know right now, I can’t say that I am recovered because; I still have things to work on. I can say that I am recovering and will continue to get stronger and healthier mind.

This Outfit is Off Limits

This Outfit is off Limits

My birth mother has told me that an outfit that I wanted to wear in sophomore year of high school was off limits. Her exact words were, “ you look like a bag lady in that outfit.” This outfit is meant for skinny girls. It was a one-piece jumper pin striped with ties around the waist. She made me change my outfit. That really hurt me, that the woman that was supposed to love me and encourage me said this to me. It felt like if I wasn't stick thin then I wasn't valued as a daughter. The outfit that she had me change into, I felt hid my figure. What message I received that day, was I better be real thin to be able to wear the cute clothes, or I was going to be insulted by every time.

I also remember another time in the fitting room when I was maybe 14, and was a higher size. She was stating that these girls in Sweet Valley High’s were a perfect size and they were older than me. She was comparing me to imaginary people in a fictional series and wanted me to look like them. It was an unfair comparison! I felt like saying, if you like them so much why don't you adopt them and give me up so I can find someone who loves me and appreciates me!

Also she showed me a picture taken at a friend's lake home and showing me how, “fat I was in the bathing suit.” “She was like look how fat you are there. You should be ashamed of yourself looking like that in that bathing suit!”

I remember another time when I was getting the veil fitted and I wore a lose summer dress; even in her sickness, she was like you are so fat! “You need to lose the weight before your wedding!”

I think this is where I equated thinness equals cute clothes. If I wanted to be cute, I had to be real thin and fit into the real small clothing to be deemed worthy.

I know in November of 2014, when I reached a real small size, I could hear that voice in my head great “you reached that size, let' go for smaller size, so you will look good for society's standards!”

I knew that size would be a no-no with my therapist, so I switched out for the “agreed size.”

Even this past November at the hotel, with my bikini, I heard the critical voice, the only difference I tossed it aside for the voice of reasoning that I just ate and I was at a stable weight.

Now when I think I hear the voice of ED/Pat, I have a note card in my wallet reminding me, I don't want to go to smaller sizes because that could easily send me to the hospital and I have tried it before and wasn't happy with myself even then. I also have at the bottom of the card what my therapist would say to me. It is that voice of assurance and kindness. I hope one day, I won’t need that card but it is there as long as I need it!

How Sizing Hurts

How Sizing Labels Hurts

There has been a contest where women were asked put what the size they were on a card and put it next to them. This could be good and bad. On the good side, women are proud and satisfied with their size. On the negative side, a judge that likes thin body types will vote for the thinnest lady and neglect the rest of the women. The prize would have been a picture with the woman beside her size in the magazine.

The clothing industry pays more attention to thinner sizes. It is like the thinner a person is, the more clothing choices there are. I have experienced this myself when I lost the weight. I also can tell you it becomes down right addicting! I wanted to try for the next size lower than the specified number than what my therapist set for me. I had this thinking if I could go down one more size, I could be worth something. A couple years ago, I got myself down to a real small size and my therapist was worried about me because she knew I wouldn't stop. She gave a wake up call and now I am back to my “agreed size.” I still struggle with this mentality. I do remember a time when I was a young girl, my birth mother Pat, told me that, those clothes over in that section were for “fat girls.” The inference was made that if I was fat, I would not be loved or accepted.

There are very few stores for, plus sized women. Lane Bryants does sell excuslively to those that are in the plus sized category. There are some sections in Meijer's and Walmart's. It is a big section though. The message to me is that plus sizes aren't rewarded but being small is.

I watched a documentary “Dying to be Thin,” it was neat to see a lady that used to model for small clothes, crossed over into plus sized model. Her explanation was, she saw what the fashion industry does to women. There were models, dying because they were told they have to fit into a real small size and abused their bodies with diuretics and diet pills, till the body shut down. It was good to see th at model say, “hey that is enough!” I am happy with who I am and I don't need to abuse my body!”

I would like to say that, it may take a long time for the fashion industry to be more accepting of what they deem as plus sized clothing, but if more women are willing to say I am fine the way I am, then there will be less body shaming, also that women won't be criticized for going to stores like Lane Bryants or shopping in the “bigger clothing department. Hopefully in time, there will be more fashion shows with, Lane Bryant's models. There are a lot women who do wear double digit sizes and they want stylish clothes and not be penalized by the fashion industry because they aren't that size.

In closing,there should not be anymore models starving themselves to death to get into a size that their body was never made for! I did hear in another documentary, that fashion industry will no longer allow real small sized models on the runway, due to the body image and England has cut out small sized model advertisements on their subway stations. So good for them! Let's hope that the fashion industry shows more body-positive love for other models!

How to Maintain recovery with a cold or Flu

How To Maintain Recovery With a Cold or Flu

Maintaining recovery is already tricky. However you throw in a cold or flu, then it either gets real to darn near impossible! What makes it so hard is that when you have a cold or flu, there goes the appetite. Therefore maintaining your daily meal plan could be thrown off too. Also you may not be able to smell the food; due to a head cold, and if you have a chest cold and are coughing a lot and you feel like you are going to choke on the food, it makes eating very hard! Another thing that can get us derailed is that evil voice telling us that since we have either a cold or the flu we don’t need to eat. We need to stay one step ahead of him and keep our recovery going on track.

Here are some helpful tips:

• Maintain your meal plan and keep hydrated
• Get as much rest
• Stay away from the gym or exercise equipment at the house.
• Be gentle with yourself

In the maintaining the meal plan, maybe easier said than done, this can be done. Try and eat at the same times that you normally would, even if you don’t feel hungry. Remember food is fuel and medicine to keep your body maintained. Also consider buying some Boost or Ensure in the adult nutrition aisle of your grocery store. These will help give your body the nutrients it needs and also soup is also good when you are sick. Remember to drink fluids, juices, water and tea, these keep you hydrated also. When I am sick, I keep a normal routine of mealtimes and I also drink extra water, tea, and juice. I have noticed I feel better doing this.

Get as much rest as you can. This could mean either naps throughout the day, or lying on the couch watching your favorite movies. I have done this. I also have two kitty nurses that lay with me and keep me company.

During this time, it is best not to exercise too strenuously or keep it to a light minimum, so staying away from the gym or off the exercise equipment at home is a real good idea. I know for me, there are some days, I can’t do the spin bike due to I am wore down by the cold. Again that evil voice will call you lazy and use every excuse why you should beat your body down. Don’t do it, you will wear yourself down and will take longer to recover from the cold or flu. I had a discussion with the voice and I told him I was not going to exercise and to shut up about it, because I was going to honor myself and take time off from working out.

Last but not least, you want to be gentle with yourself. Your body needs time to heal from the cold or flu. Don’t feel bad if you need the extra help around the household chores. I know for me, this is hard, because I feel like I need to do it all. I don’t have to. My husband steps in to do the kitty litter so I don’t have to go downstairs. If you live by yourself, the chores can wait until you feel better, or do a little bit a time like I do as far as dishes and making coffee. Remember the goal is taking care of you and also give yourself a hug or do something nice for yourself like a hot bath during this time.

How to Hit The Reset Button on The Recovery Process After a Relapse

How to Hit The Reset Button on The Recovery Process After a Relapse

As we know relapse is a part of the recovery process no matter how we try it can and will happen. The import thing to know is that this define you as a person, you will get past this hurdle or roadblock in recovery.

I had nine years of recovery before I had my relapse. I didn’t want to admit it to myself but I was falling into the same behavior traps as I did in my previous fight with the eating disorder. I felt bad, however coming clean with my therapist and getting a treatment plan helped get the ball rolling in the right direction.

I can tell you that recovery is not a straight-line process; there will be hills and valleys. The hills are the highs of recovery and the lows could be either a struggle or a relapse. You can get through these relapses even when it seems hopeless. Here are some tips on how to get through the relapses; I have also used these myself too.

• Be honest with your therapist during this time.
• Have your food journal ready
• If you are experiencing behaviors during this time come clean.
• Follow treatment plan and have a relapse plan in place.

As hard and scary it is be honest with your therapist. They are there to help you not to judge you. Also once you tell, the secret is exposed and has less power to hurt you. I know I thought that my therapist would be ticked at me for blowing nine years of recovery but she was glad I was honest with her. The more honest I am with her, the more she can help me.

If the treatment plan calls for a food journal which consists of things we ate and maybe how much exercise we do. I know that I incorporate both into the food journal. I do remember one year, my therapist saw that I added more exercise than food and she called me on it. I have turned a corner in that respect, she doesn’t ask to see it, but I show it to her to see what I could improve upon.

If you are experiencing eating disorder thoughts or behaviors, please tell your therapist. I had some bad thoughts early this month and told my therapist everything. She thanked me for trusting her and being honest.

Most of all you want to follow your treatment plan that is either given to you by your therapist or treatment team. Once you do get to a good place in recovery, have a relapse plan ready. This could include either a recovery contract with the treatment team; weekly weigh ins, and periodic sessions with your therapist. For me it was poster boards and decorating them to keep me away from the eating disorder, writing goals to remind me why I need to stay healthy or in recovery zone, and a journal to write thoughts or feelings as they come to you so you can show your therapist. I know when I start to have thoughts contrary to recovery, I journal them and bring them to my therapist. I also keep in mind what could possibly derail me and bring that to the session. I want to try and avoid another relapse stay on recovery so I will rat on myself or do what I have to do to keep me in the green zone/or the safe area.

How a Night in The ER Changed me

How a Night in The ER Changed me

Early in May, I started to experience, some stomach upset. I have noticed that after eating certain foods like onions, seasoned fries,and drinking coffee, gave me a flare in my stomach. I started marking down what I thought could be the triggers were and ate or drink less of them.

One Night on May 20, my stomach was really flaring and nothing that I was doing on my own was helping. I tried Tums, and Vernors and it still was hurting. The ER was the only option at the time, due to Urgent Care Center being closed after ten pm.

We went to the ER and I went through the regular exams, like EKG, and a blood test. When the doctor was examining me and asking health history, I disclosed to him that I am recovering from Anorexia. I have asked him if I did this to myself. He said, “no these happen.” While we were waiting on results of the blood test, Terry, my husband said to me, you need to slow down and let me help. He thought that I was stressing out and trying to overdo everything. I also thought at the time, maybe it could have been stomach stress, before my upcoming class, Forensic Psychology. I have thought that yes, I should let him help me with stuff around the house. The doctor and his supervisor came in and revealed that I have GERD and would have to make changes. They prescribed to me a medicine that I would take a half hour prior to eating. When they discharged me, it was pretty late and we were both tired. I went to bed and got up to take Horatio to get his nails clipped. I was set to do the Aldi's shopping too. I then heard Miriam's voice,(my therapist)saying to me, “ No you are not going shopping, you were up most of the night in the ER, go to bed and rest.” I dropped Horatio off and got my prescription filled at the pharmacy and then went home and laid down. I let Terry do the cooking, I was just tired and let him help me.

What did I take away from this experience? I have one body and need to honor it and take care of it. I also need to let Terry help me and when it comes to the classes that I take, do the best I can, I don't have to rely on perfection.

Afterword

During the course of time, I limited coffee to a cup, and I don't cook with onions because they are a major source of GERD upsets. I also found through research and someone sharing her experience with GERD, that she uses Papaya pills. These pills are great! They have been helping me out and I haven't had a flareup, nor have I used the Tums. Life is good with no gastric flares. It has gotten my attention to take care of myself and let me know that my body does change and the things that I used to eat, I would have to eat very sparingly and have my papaya pill ready!