Thursday, June 14, 2018

Dear scale

Dear scale:

I am not going to get on you to weigh myself. 
You don't tell me my intrinsic value inside
You just tell me what my current number is now
Going on you will only bring back ED tendencies that I worked so hard to reverse!
I will not like myself and start reversing my recovery.
My therapist said " I am not defined by a number."

So I will not go on you when ED beckons me to!

Monday, June 11, 2018

Not liking what I am seeing

After going to drs and getting weighed, I nearly freaked out. It is hard not to let this undo my progress. 
I know I had a few ice cream treats and need cut down on those. I was also having my cycle and that didn't help matters.
I haven't been able to walk as much due to my calf strain.
There are times it is so tempting to do behaviors to lose the weight. However I know that is letting the enemy in again. I don't want that for myself nor will I feel good about myself if I did do things that way.
I am trying to reach out to the groups and Miriam more. I journal v. behavior.  I still notice one thing, I am more apt to take it out on myself when I think I messed up. So I will have to change that concept.